Relationships are challenging. Relationships will always be a challenge. We don’t receive a lot of instruction from the educational system unless it’s a college course, and many of us don’t have effective role models to use as healthy references. And it is absolutely okay. Relationships come with a lot of pride and ego sensitivity. Even the most laid-back individuals can get quite dramatic when it comes to relationship issues.
The prospect of rejection and reality vs. fantasy can make people do some unorthodox things. There’s no doubt that relationships are sometimes very challenging to navigate but here’s how you can adjust, adapt, and refocus on the thing that matter the most, unconditional love.
Avoid the most common mistakes that ruin relationships:
1. Attempting to change the other person. If you’ve ever tried to lose weight or get yourself to do something you don’t want to do, you know how challenging it can be to change. It’s 10 times harder to change another person. Expect that your partner will never change. Assuming you can mold him into something you can live with is foolish.
2. Avoid confrontation at all costs. Some things aren’t worth arguing about. The things that really bother you are worth addressing. Otherwise, how will the situation ever improve? You’re setting yourself up to be annoyed, hurt, or frustrated on a daily basis for the rest of your life. Hard talks are necessary from time to time.
3. Not maintaining enough distance from your ex. Your ex might still be your friend. You might even share children together. But there’s a limit to what your current partner should have to deal with. Late-night, semi-intimate texts are out of line.
4. Focusing on the negative. Take a few minutes each day to jot down those things you appreciate about your partner. You’ll find that you feel more positive about your partner. Interestingly, they haven’t changed. You have.
5. Failing to communicate your needs. Men don’t always want to communicate although they should. Many women think men should be able to read their minds. Neither is an effective way to manage a relationship. Take responsibility for your relationship and your happiness by communicating clearly.
6. Failing to take care of yourself. Men and women are both guilty of this. A relationship is no reason to stop going to the gym or to start wearing your pajama bottoms to the store. As shallow as it may seem, part of the reason you fell in love with each other was based on your appearance. Take as much pride in your appearance today as you did in the past.
7. Moving too quickly. Relationships have a better chance for survival if they’re eased into. When a relationship moves too quickly, there’s one partner that’s at least a little uncomfortable with the pace. Avoid rushing and enjoy the process.
8. Failing to give your partner space. You have a life together. You also have separate lives. Allow each other the space to breathe. You don’t have to be joined at the hip 24/7.
An intimate relationship can add a lot of value to your life. However, that value doesn’t come cheaply. They can take up a lot of mental space and create negative emotions. Relationships are challenging, but many of those challenges can be prevented by avoiding the most common relationship mistakes.
If you’ve had relationship mishaps in the past, ensure that you’re not making any of these common mistakes. A few, small changes could make all the difference.